Denial is more than a river

I started getting back into running in late 2017 and struggled a bit with hills and runs. My “summer” pace as I called it hovered around a 10:30 to 12:00 mile with the thought that hot and humid days were just going to be tougher runs because humidity makes it harder to breathe. I looked forward to spring and fall just so I could do a 9:30 mile for shorter runs. I accepted that while I liked hills, I would be walking up them to keep my heart rate down or walk at the top because my chest hurt too much. There were times my watch showed a 180+ pulse with me gasping for air and pausing to alleviate the tightness. This feeing happened on slow runs with fast friends, when I was sprinting toward the finish of several races, and the day Angie and Tracy said “you need to see a doctor. You sound bad” while running the Essex Steam Train Half Relay. The wheezing was loud in the upper airway but I felt my usual “normal” while running.

My friends told me I sounded bad in October of 2019. I did not see my primary doctor for a diagnosis until late March 2020. Denial is a powerful thing.

I reviewed my symptoms: rapid pulse, chest tightness, difficulty breathing, and symptoms alleviated with walking. Cough and runny nose were in there, but I realized this after the diagnosis.

The first step with the diagnosis was to try an albuterol HFA.

“Inhale two puffs 15 minutes before exercise.” Okay... I have some planning to do for runs. Know when I want to go out, use the magic “puffer.” Okay... I was skeptical since side effects of albuterol include a rapid heart rate and cough.

I was *finally* diagnosed with exercise-induced bronchospasm over a year ago (around the time the pandemic started) and continued to have disbelief.  My first run following instructions was proof that I was over-due for albuterol.  Going up the hill to complete mile one: not so bad. Stops to catch my breath: three in my three mile run.  Baseline: at least five stops sans albuterol.  There was also a change in heart rate zones.  Albuterol helped to lower my average pulse while running - so much for the side effect of an elevated pulse!  I was off to a good start.  I mentioned that cough and runny nose were part of the symptoms of exercise-induced asthma.  I did not notice these until after I started treatment.  I attribute this as self-awareness rather than being aware of the textbook reasons.  I noticed that mucous production was higher after a run - it seemed less with albuterol.  I also noticed that I did in-fact have a weak cough with a fuzzy feeling in my chest for 20-30 minutes after a run.  That fuzzy feeling is the bronchospasm.

I asked for Singulair at my next appointment to help reduce the need for a bronchodilator.  Can one pill manage the symptoms: yes and no.  Singulair helped control the amount of mucous.  I went from blowing my nose several times after a run to maybe once or twice.  Part of the denial aspect was having the mindset that adding medications was cheating.  I should be able to handle everything with exercise and the more I run, the better things will get, right?  Obviously, things did not get better.  Running continued to present the same breathing challenges until I added medications to support breathing.  This is not cheating, either.  Athletes use interventions such as bronchodilators and oral medications like singulair to decrease the work of breathing.

Using the phrase denial is more than a river encompasses the essence of my thought process.  I was in denial about the need to breathe just a bit easier.  I thought everyone felt like they were dying while running.  Maybe I was not strong enough and needed to lift more weights.  No one feels like they are dying while running unless it is race day.  My body should not have felt like I could not breathe on a regular run at my average pace.  Things have improved since starting on the breathing regimen.  I hope to break a PR 5K for me: Run a 5K in less than 27 minutes, run a 10K under 59 minutes, a half marathon in 2 hours, 25 minutes, and a marathon under 4 hours, 55 minutes.  The goals are achievable now that I can breathe easier.